Streams of Comfort

Someone asked me once,
“What do you think is the scariest thing in the world?”
I was unable to really answer them then,
And I think I maybe said something typical,
Like spiders, loneliness, or maybe even death.
But it wasn’t until I became an adult that I noticed it,
The most truly terrifying thing in this world,
That happens to lurk within every human soul,
A swirling darkness that never seems satisfied,
That I call the pit.
I don’t know when I started to notice it,
But I caught rare glimpses of it in those around me,
In moments of internal struggle,
A choice in the moment to choose either the path of life or death.
Self-serving desire, warped morality, and sinister whispers of fulfillment,
Infused together in a whirlwind of darkness that opens for just a moment,
Laying the intentions of the heart bare,
Its darkness receding slightly, to perhaps seem less threatening,
While forming a wide opening,
That is ready to consume the one that looks into it,
If they choose it.
And many choose it.
The pit is a monster that never seems satisfied,
No matter how many souls it consumes,
And the most terrifying thing is that we are all born with it,
Or maybe we are even born into it.
I understand now why God told Cain,
“… Sin is crouching at the door.
Its desire is contrary to you, but you must rule over it.”
It truly is crouching at all of our doors,
Waiting for a moment of opportunity.

Not too long ago someone asked me,
“What do you think is the most wonderful thing in this world?”
Having lived in the pit so long,
My answer came through a raspy throat.
“It is freedom,” I told them.
Freedom from the dark arms of a pit that often felt like home.
A false refuge from the blinding light.
Paul said, “For freedom, we have been set free.”
A call to live in the light.
A call to choose life.
Leaving behind the lying pit of desolation and slavery we were born into,
Rising again with our Savior into the wondrous light.
Though at first the coolness of the pit feels like relief,
Inviting you to stay forever,
Over time it weighs on your soul.
The weight of not being what we were meant to be.
The struggle of constantly looking for identity with no rest.
But when I felt the light of Jesus in my life,
I couldn’t deny the lies of the truth I thought I had been living.
Suddenly I was truly myself again.
Not the dark wall I built around me.
Freedom and mercy graced my tongue and actions.
I was saved by the one who never let me go.
Even when I peered into the darkest part of my pit,
Where He refused to leave me.
Oh, the wonder of our Savior.
Freedom through Christ is truly the most wonderful thing in this world.