Streams of Comfort

The extreme, record-breaking cold that has been surrounding the US the past few weeks is a pretty good parallel to a lot of peoples’ moods lately. Especially in Florida, where we are NOT built for this. The cold weather has a way of revealing your inner nature. When it’s cold we have to rely more on each other and we tend to be indoors more. That combination is what makes holidays in the winter so chaotic.

Our theme for this month is loneliness, not because we are trying to oppose the love of Valentine’s Day, but to explore how loneliness can creep up on us even in crowded spaces. Even when we know, as followers of Christ that God is always with us. This poem explores my struggle with loneliness due to not wanting to be a burden on others. The deep irony is that I prayed to God fervently for the friends and family I do have because I wanted people to share life with. The truth is we need each other, even though we hurt each other sometimes. This month ask God to strengthen your friendships and relationships. Prayer, I’ve learned, is a strong fortifier.

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I wish I could share my pain
But pain is a burden.
A thing I don’t want loved ones to have to carry.
Even when those I love are the cause.

I asked for hearts and souls.
To care for.
So maybe it’s my fault.
It feels like it sometimes.

Disappointment fills my heart
Like love with a sour taste.
To wish that I hadn’t gotten close,
Close enough to go cry.

Knowing that there’s this paradox
Of loneliness and perhaps emptiness
No one to burden
No causes of pain
Only myself to blame.

The scales seemed weighted unfairly
From the day we were born.
God made us to need each other
Yet we pull the ripcords
That tie us to one another.

I wish I could share my happiness
But you’re not here anymore.
A thing I wished you could smile about.
Especially when you were the cause.

My nails tap the table;
scrape the essence of me.
Straining to touch the reason why.
For a moment I preferred loneliness to you.

Alice R.